i already hear my dad disowning me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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