youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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