dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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