He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
