he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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