See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
