I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
