No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
