Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
