Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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