shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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