Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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