Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
