Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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