1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
