M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
