Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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