i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
