that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
