is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
