My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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