my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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