There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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