I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
