Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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