glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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