i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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