i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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