You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
