I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
