Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
