Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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