Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
