Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
