He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize