So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
