proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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