Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
