im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize