why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
