ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
