okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
