Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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