Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
