i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want nice things and good sex
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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