take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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