omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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