remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
