Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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