So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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