im having a threesome with these popsicles
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
