I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
