I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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