The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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