I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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