When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
