If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
