so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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