sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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