If that was your dad, he is hot
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
