he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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