i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
